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So You Wanna Ride Into My DMs

Tangled Web

K.C. Cordell

TheMythTheLegend

Um…

M

What, Sebastian?

TheMythTheLegend 

Mind coming to my room for a sec?

M 

Why?

TheMythTheLegend

Just come, Meza

M 

Why?

TheMythTheLegend

Pretty please 

With honey on top

M

Why?

TheMythTheLegend

OK

Remember last week when I was narrating all them Spider-Man comics on air? 

M

Sure

TheMythTheLegend

So there was this girl in town…

M

Bye

TheMythTheLegend

Wait! Lemme explain!

M

Whatever’s happening in your room with some girl, leave me out of it

TheMythTheLegend

Get your head out the gutter, Meza. It ain’t like that 

So this girl in town said she thought Spider-Man sounded super hot. And she wished she could see what he looked like

M

And you didn’t pull the image up for her on your data cuff

TheMythTheLegend

Be BORING, you mean? No! Why settle for a picture when I could bring the experience to life!
You know I live to bring joy into this humdrum world 
And well, you remember in the second Tobey movie? That part with Spidey and Mary Jane in that giant web?
Or maybe you didn’t watch that one with me… 
Never mind
Point is I needed to test the strength of the webs 
Because I’m such a responsible human being and all
And anyway, can you come real quick? And, you know, bring scissors
Sooner rather than later, if you would be so kind. Moving is kind of hard right now

I have an itch on my nose that really wants my attention

M

Fine

***

TheMythTheLegend

Meza
When I asked you to come to my room, the idea was for you to HELP me 

Not to step in, blink twice, and then shut the door as you walk away 

M

That…

Thing you’re wearing…

TheMythTheLegend

You mean my spider suit

Because I am a professional

M

Traded with somebody for that?

TheMythTheLegend

This level of craftsmanship? 
I made it myself

Obviously

M

Interesting

TheMythTheLegend

It’s the ancient art of cosplay, Meza. I don’t expect you to understand this level of dedication

M

And you made all that webbing out of the synthetic cord I was saving to barter with the hunters?

TheMythTheLegend

Oh

Is that what that was for?

M

Yes 

As I told you

TheMythTheLegend 

Oops. I ain’t a stinker?
So…

You coming back?

M

What’re your spidey senses telling you?

TheMythTheLegend

First of all, it don’t work that way
And secondly…

They’re saying no. No, you ain’t coming

M

Excelsior